Why Change is so Hard

Today’s morning trail run through the cold winter trees of west Pennsylvania was nothing short of consciousness boosting.

I haven't ran too much in the past. But I recently decided to change that in order to get healthier and have more energy (and it's a lot of fun when you're somewhere beautiful).

While in a state of what's commonly referred to as "runners high" a thought struck me:

"Most people find a groove in life, a way of living that more or less works for them and their unique personality and then they never change it or strive to be better. Why is that?"

So let's break it down and see what we can learn in today's letter.

The more we do something, or even think about doing something, the deeper we ingrain those thoughts and behaviors into our brains.

And we're constantly building new neural connections and pathways in our brains, while also enforcing and strengthening old ones.

All this is done through a process called neuro-association.

Neuro-association can be roughly summed up by the saying “what gets fired together, gets wired together”.

Said another way, neuro-associations are the links between thoughts and emotions in your brain.

These links effectively create and shape what you think, and how you emotionalize and therefore, how you behave in various situations.

For example, you wake up and the thought of a weekly work meeting with the same group of people you’ve been working with for years enters your mind, and that elicits the feeling (physical response) of anxiety with a dash of annoyance and a sprinkle of contempt mixed in.

And now your brain associates that meeting with those feelings, which has a deep impact on you feel and act.

Now every time you think of that meeting, you are conditioning your body and mind to automatically feel those negative emotions.

You are condemning your current self to feel as its conditioned to feel, and thus you won’t be able to get past that emotion to feel better and grow.

You are literally bringing your negative future state to the present moment and limiting your ability to create the life you want - not good.

Our minds can’t tell the difference between reality and what we repeatedly think about.

The point is, whenever we do something or simply think about something, and we feel a strong emotion simultaneously with it, those two things now become a new neural association in your brain.

The trick is to be aware of this process and then leverage it to help us unlock our full potential and design the life of our dreams - instead of using it to tie ourselves down in mental chains.

Our brain is constantly making new neuro-associations and strengthening old ones, whether we are consciously aware of it or not.

This creates the basis to how we act and think in the world, our world view, personality, and emotional programming.

A saying that I like to use to drive this point home is “Program. Or be Programmed”.

Every piece of information you take into your mind throughout the course of your life, goes into making you who you are, how you think, and how you act on a day-to-day basis - and ultimately shapes who you will become in the future.

You have to consciously curate what you allow to penetrate your mind.

But not only that, when and how you take this information also plays a big roll.

For example, you wake up to a blaring alarm sound and immediately grab your phone, and feeling almost compelled, you open social media, or maybe even put a podcast on.

This leads to overloading your brain with information (potentially junk info also) without ever giving it a chance to organize and orient itself to a new day - a sure way to guarantee you’ll have no mental clarity.

Now you are right back to feeling exactly like you did the day before, and the day before that, ad infinitum.

Instead, what if you woke up naturally at a decent hour because you got into bed 8 hours prior. And instead of info overload the second you wake up, you sit in silence for 10 minutes breathing deeply, allowing your nervous system, breath, & mind to sync and calm down.

From there you get right into your most important work of the day, having maximum clarity and focus.

Imagine how much more productive and enjoyable work could be.

And this doesn’t just go for when you first wake up.

You need to be diligent with what information you take in throughout the entire course of your day.

One piece of stray information runs the risk of seriously derailing your mind for the entire day.

Especially as the day progresses and the daily hustle wears you down. You’ll need to be even more hypervigilant and aware.

Try to notice when you habitually go to grab your phone in order to distract yourself from your thoughts in the present moment. Or any other mindless habit you fall victim too.

Try to feel the urge as soon as it arises, recognize it for what it is, resist it, then connect to your breath and gently direct your mind and body back to the present moment.

It’s not enough to simply avoid junk information. You also need to program yourself with empowering information that aligns with what you want for yourself and who you want to become.

Don’t get me wrong, you still need plenty of silence and time alone to let your mind digest all the information and make connections that you wouldn’t be able to with a clouded mind.

By consciously and intentionally choosing who you will be around, what you watch & listen to, and the books you read, you can (and will) become more like the person you want to be (remember “Program. Or be Programmed”).

It’s up you.

Let the whims of the world choose things for you, or be deliberate in your programming.

When you constantly act, think, & feel in the same ways, day after day, you are solidifying who you are and how you see the world.

That’s why change is so hard.

We physically alter our brain with neuro-association (again - consciously or unconsciously) and create our personality, world view, likes/ dislikes.

The longer you have been thinking or acting in the same way (whether “good” or “bad”), the deeper these neuro-associations are, and the harder it is to create change in your life.

This is why “good” habits & thinking, make time your biggest ally. And why “bad” habits & thinking make time your biggest enemy.

The most encouraging part of all this is that we can all evolve and improve ourselves by using neuro-association.

If you change how your mind relates to reality, you will transform your life.

To change your outer circumstances, you must first turn in.

Only then, can you turn a restrictive and limited world view and self opinion into an expansive and empowering world view and self opinion, increase your feeling of fulfillment with life, and actualize your ultimate self.

As you grow in your awareness, you will face discomfort in life as your old ways of thinking and acting (your now outdated “map of reality”) start to burn away and allow your highest self to rise forth from the ashes (the symbolic Phoenix).

It’s impossible to change your life, or to create the future you desire, if you feel, think, and act the same way everyday out of habit.

You will have to make yourself feel better than you actually do in the present.

You have to train yourself to feel in the present like the person you wish to be in the future.

11 Ways You Can Use Neuro-Associations to Create Lasting Change In Your Life

You need to become conscious of (and then break away from) experiences that are at the root of those harmful neuro-associations.

Become aware of activities that:

• Cause you to force yourself, persuade yourself, or talk yourself into doing things that you don’t want to do.

• Elicit feelings of guilt, shame, blame, comparison, or perfectionism alongside it.

• Physically, mentally, or emotionally put you in a state of stress or pain.

• Cause you to belittle, criticize, or negatively judge yourself in the process.

• You are doing because you think you “should” or because you think you’re “supposed to”.

The above cause your brain to engrain negative neuro-associations alongside any habit.

This makes future follow-throughs harder and more painful to continue.

It also sabotages your future self.

Anytime you feel frustrated or annoyed, your brain just sees it as stress and takes you out of that relaxed state you are trying to create.

Cultivate enjoyable experiences to create positive neuro-associations.

The key to relaxing your nervous system and creating positive neuro-associations is to engage in activities that bring pleasure and enjoyment to your mind, brain, and body.

Such activities foster emotional safety, connection, and feelings of love, all of which build positive neuro-associations with the experience.

By transforming a challenging activity into an enjoyable one, you increase the likelihood of engaging in it repeatedly in the future.

This is because your brain is no longer resisting the activity, but instead actively seeking it out.

To trigger a relaxed state in your brain and start building positive neuro-associations, there are several methods you can try.

These include activities like meditation, mindfulness, deep breathing exercises, spending time in nature, listening to music, and engaging in physical exercise.

With regular practice, you can cultivate a positive and relaxed state of mind that will help you approach challenging tasks with ease and enjoyment.

Step 1: Revamp Your External Environment

Have you ever considered how much influence your surroundings have on your mindset and motivation?

The truth is, our environment can either fuel or drain our creativity and energy levels.

It's easy to overlook, but making changes to your environment can be a simple way to enhance productivity.

Your sensory system absorbs everything from the furniture in the room, the color of the walls, to the amount of natural light streaming in.

By choosing an environment that resonates with you and sparks joy, you can create new, positive connections in your brain that enhance your overall wellbeing and productivity.

2. Transform Your Internal Environment

What are you nourishing your mind with on a daily basis? Are you filling it with self-criticism and negative thoughts, or are you cultivating a positive and loving mindset?

There's a powerful parable that speaks to this idea:

"A grandfather tells his grandson that there are two wolves inside each of us that are constantly battling one another.

One wolf represents qualities like kindness, courage, and love, while the other wolf represents greed, hatred, and fear.

The grandson pauses for a moment, then looks up at his grandfather and asks, 'Which wolf wins?'

The grandfather responds, 'The one you feed.'"

This story serves as a reminder that our internal environment is just as important as our external one.

By choosing to feed our minds with positivity and love, we can cultivate a mindset that is primed for success and fulfillment.

3. Cultivate Inner Stillness Before, During, or After Your Work

Meditation has long been touted as a powerful tool for finding inner peace and reducing stress.

But what if you don't resonate with traditional meditation techniques

The good news is that you can create your own meditation practice that works for you.

For example, you can use music, movement, essential oils, or any other method that helps to calm your nervous system and create a state of inner stillness.

Focus on your breath, bring your attention to the present moment, and allow yourself to simply be.

By cultivating inner stillness before, during, or after your work, you can help to create a positive and relaxed state of mind that will enhance your productivity and overall well-being.

4. Start Your Day with a Grounding Morning Ritual

Many of us have the habit of reaching for our phones or diving right into our tasks as soon as we wake up. However, this is not the best way to start our day.

Instead, take a few moments to ground yourself and set the tone for the day ahead.

You don't need to do anything elaborate; even a simple ritual can work wonders.

Consider a practice that makes you feel centered, such as deep breathing, stretching, journaling, or meditation.

By doing this, you can activate the relaxation response in your brain, which will help you stay calm and focused throughout the day.

Starting your day with a grounding ritual can also help you prioritize what's most important, giving you the clarity and direction needed to achieve your goals.

5. Create a Relaxing Evening Routine

Many of us go to bed with our minds racing with unfinished tasks or worries about the day ahead.

This can negatively impact the quality of our sleep and leave us feeling drained the next day.

To avoid this, create an evening routine that helps you unwind and relax before bed.

You can try journaling to get your thoughts out of your head, listening to calming music, or practicing relaxation techniques such as meditation or deep breathing.

Find what works for you and make it a habit to create a positive neuro-association with bedtime.

Remember, the habits and rituals we incorporate into our daily lives can significantly impact our overall well-being and productivity.

By transforming our environment, internal state, and habits, we can create positive neuro-associations in our brain and induce a state of relaxation that enhances our ability to handle challenges and enjoy life to the fullest.

6. Find Human Connection

Building connections with other people is an essential part of our well-being.

In our busy lives, it's easy to lose sight of the importance of human connection.

But research shows that connecting with others can have a significant impact on our mental and physical health.

Whether it's spending time with loved ones, snuggling with your pet, or even just striking up a conversation with a stranger, finding human connection can help us feel more relaxed, fulfilled, and happy.

So don't be afraid to reach out and connect with others.

Whether it's a simple smile, a kind word, or a meaningful conversation, the connections we make with others can have a profound effect on our overall well-being.

7. Eat Slower, Smoother, and More Mindfully

If you were to observe most households during dinnertime, you would notice that the atmosphere is often rushed and distracted.

Food is hastily thrown onto plates, phones are in hand, and TVs blare in the background.

However, when it comes to establishing positive neurological connections, what you eat is not as important as who you are while eating.

The hurried approach described above triggers the sympathetic (fight or flight) branch of the nervous system.

But if you slow down, take a deep breath, and become mindful, you activate the parasympathetic (rest and digest) branch, which promotes relaxation and digestion.

This conscious approach to mealtime can lead to powerful neural connections in the brain that promote healthy eating habits and overall well-being.

8. Breath

Deep breathing is a simple yet powerful technique that can quickly calm your mind and body.

By taking deep breaths in, allowing your belly to expand, and exhaling slowly, your body begins to relax and your mind becomes more clear.

This relaxation response triggers positive changes in your brain, allowing you to think more clearly and be more productive.

When you're relaxed, your brain is able to process information more efficiently, allowing you to focus on the task at hand.

Take a few moments throughout your day to practice deep breathing. It only takes a few deep breaths to activate the relaxation response, so you can quickly calm your mind and increase your productivity.

By incorporating deep breathing into your routine, you can create a more focused and productive mindset.

9. Practice Gratitude

Have you ever noticed how difficult it is to feel anxious or stressed when you're filled with gratitude?

It's because focusing on the negative aspects of your life activates the worry centers in your brain, leading to feelings of stress and overwhelm.

However, when you focus on what you are grateful for, you release feel-good hormones in your body, which can help you feel more positive and relaxed.

So why not start your day by listing a few things you're grateful for, or make it a habit to express your gratitude to others?

By doing so, you'll be rewiring your brain to focus on the positive, leading to a happier and more fulfilling life.

10. Use Movement as Therapy

Movement is often seen as a means to an end, a way to burn calories or exercise for health benefits.

However, movement can serve a much greater purpose than just physical fitness.

Movement can be therapeutic for the mind and body, creating positive connections in your brain and promoting overall well-being.

Instead of viewing movement as a chore, try to see it as a form of therapy.

It's not about the number of calories burned or how long you can run, but rather the joy and experience that movement can bring.

So, take a break from structured exercise and move for the sake of moving. Shake out your sillies, dance like nobody's watching, and engage in playful movement that brings you joy.

Not only will it make you feel good in the moment, but it will also promote positive connections in your mind, body, and brain.

11. Make any experience fun, relaxing, and pleasurable

There are numerous ways to shift your brain into a more optimal state and activate the parasympathetic nervous system.

You can put on some music, take off your shoes, and slip into comfortable clothing.

Light a candle or some incense to create a relaxing atmosphere.

Open the windows and let in some fresh air.

There are endless possibilities.

As you engage in any activity that helps you relax your mind and body, you will release your worries and experience the benefits of a calm nervous system that is working to heal and rejuvenate your mind & body.

Are you ready to actualize your highest self by creating positive neuro-associations?

By simply choosing one of the practices mentioned above and incorporating it into your daily routine, even for just a few minutes a day, you'll start to notice a difference in how you feel, your energy levels, and your overall productivity.

Track your progress and observe the changes in your mind, body, and brain.

The bottom line is that anything that reduces stress, induces relaxation, or activates your parasympathetic nervous system can be the key to boosting your productivity.

Ultimately, the key to success lies in influencing who you are and how you feel while you go about your daily tasks.

So go ahead, accept the challenge, and give it a try...

Thanks for reading!

Cheers!

-Hunter

​Instagram:​ Best Way to Get in Touch

​X:​ Notes to Self